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Dating a Guy With Performance Anxiety? Here's How to Get Over it

Posted by Najmus Sayadat on


Dating a Guy With Performance Anxiety? Here's How to Get Over it

Dating a guy with performance anxiety could be a little overwhelming, but finding reasons and solving them and a little bit of comfort goes a long way, even in bed! We all fear that, don't we? When you ought to be jubilant that you are at last receiving some "genuine activity,"

How you perform is the last thing you should be concerned about. The fun might be eliminated as a result. However, the majority of males experience performance anxiety in bed.

Men are expected to engage in sex instantly and frequently. Male sexuality is oversimplified in this way, yet many of us find it hard not to give it some credence. Any problems with sexual function may become considerably more frightening and shameful as a result of these expectations.

Are You Anxious About Performance?

Men who are anxious about performing focus frequently on their erection in particular. They may rush through intercourse out of concern for getting soft too soon and aversion to potential sex-inducing circumstances. To avoid experiencing some sort of "failure," a man who experiences problems with his erection usually avoids sexual contact, finds excuses not to be dating (if they're not in a relationship), and refrains from sexual activities.

Before sexual experiences, men with this difficulty could also feel symptoms of other types of anxiousness, like a faster heartbeat and shallow breathing. Due to their inexperience, young men are particularly vulnerable to worry. This increased worry can also arise in older men who may experience problems with their sexual function owing to health issues.

Here’s how to get over performance anxiety in bed:

1. First and foremost, stop worrying.

The main contributor to performance anxiety in bed is a loss of confidence. Less erotic will be the undertone of your approach the more you worry about whether you'll be able to win her over. The mind plays a larger role in sex than the body. Even your fantasy girl won't guarantee good times if you are not thinking clearly.

One of the most frequent causes of performance anxiety is a male's excessive worry about what his partner would think of him, how the woman would judge his performance, and that if the woman is not impressed in bed, she won't see him again or won't think of him as a true man. Therefore, start with some self-respect before you pile yourself up with such thoughts. Or just give up on all your ideas and considerations.

Try out new things in bed, like role playing, or using sex toys like this Fleshlight pink lady original that can help with stamina building and will make you last longer in bed. In short, have fun without considering how you perform is being evaluated; this will go you farther.


2. Don't blame the relationship too quickly

Relationships with very content males can increase the likelihood of performance anxiety. If you are dating a guy with performance anxiety, understand that a man may feel a lot of pressure in every area of his relationship if he has a deep commitment to his partner as the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Even favorable circumstances that increase relationship strain might lead to an increase in an obsession with bedroom performance.

3. Not the Right Mood? Consider a Rain Check

On the other end of the spectrum, if a man isn't really into having sex with his partner, that can also cause sexual issues and set him up for future discomfort, even during times when he would otherwise want sex. He can have issues if he's truly not in the mood for sex but his partner is, and he sort of feels compelled to appease his spouse.


A significant portion of the issue here is the masculine stereotype. The notion that males are always eager and ready for sex is untrue and might even be harmful. It shouldn't be expected of a man to always want to have sex, even in a healthy relationship where he is attracted to his partner.

4. Changing the Location

A couple's working environment can also make them anxious. Any number of issues can arise while trying to have sex in a strange, difficult, or even embarrassing location (such as her parents' home). In addition to disrupting concentration, interruptions can make it challenging for a man to enjoy himself and his partner.

5. Take Your Partner's Criticism Head-On

How the partner responds when sexual functioning doesn't go as expected might have a significant impact. They can prevent it from being a problem in the future if they don't make a big deal out of it and can convince the man that it's not a huge concern. However, a partner's false perception that something is wrong can lead to functioning issues that weren't there before. But being overly critical can make mountains out of molehills. Real problems with how you're performing down there shouldn't be disregarded (and call for a doctor's visit).

6. Talk About It

Nobody wants to talk about their performance anxiety or any potential functional difficulties it can cause. But talking about your nervousness can help you get over it if you're in a committed relationship or just value transparency in your sex life. You can relieve a lot of pressure and refocus the interaction on other important aspects, like enjoyment for both of you, by letting the other person know that you are stressed out by sex and that things might not go as planned.

7. Stop battling it out in the bedroom.

There are many methods to engage in sexual activity and feel sexually satisfied. There is no one perfect way to have sex, and there is no competition. It's not a good idea to enter the bedroom with that entire competitive, macho attitude, where you think you're either going to succeed or fail. Enjoy yourself and make the most of your resources. Also, keep in mind that personal encounters may not always involve sexual activity.

Being at ease during sex is important, but being tense beforehand elevates cortisol and adrenaline levels, which only serve as barriers to having satisfying sex. Men tend to form unfavourable opinions about their session even before it begins, which increases anxiety levels. So, quit worrying about yourself. Talk to someone about your anxieties. During sex, concentrate on the enjoyable aspects of it.

One of the things where you have to stop worrying about the outcome and just enjoy the process is sexual activity—at least while it lasts.


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