Love Language quizzes have been spreading like wildfire on the internet, and everyone is flocking to the net to find their expression of love. The idea of Love Languages has been popular for ages and took off in 1999 when Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts”. This book was hugely popular amongst the youth and created a new revolution in understanding love.
Chapman said that he sought to study how couples expressing love in their own ways could cause a dynamic in any relationship- specifically romantic relationships. This concept has since taken off to become popular in pop culture. Let’s find out about the different types of love languages and why finding one might be important.
Importance of love languages
A love language is more than just a fun pop quiz, it might just be the key to a successful relationship. We’ve listed down a few reasons you might want to find out your language with your partner.
Communicate your needs properly
In many ways, when you are able to put a name to your specific needs and ways of expressing your emotions, you’ll be able to express what they are better. Bonus, you’ll be able to know how your partner expresses their love and identify the right moments to reciprocate. We all fall prey to the common feeling of not feeling loved or appreciated by our partners, but it might just be that your partner communicates their feelings differently.
Knowing the specific ways your partner expresses not just their love but their emotions can help you reciprocate just the same and make them feel appreciated. This will help develop an environment of understanding and thoughtfulness in the relationship.
The Five Kinds of Love Languages
The name suggests it all: the person with this love language craves to spend time with their loved one while devoting their undivided attention to their partner. This could mean a bunch of activities and habits- from keeping your phone away while spending time with them to paying attention to what they say, you might want to express your love for them by showing that this time is for them.
Exercises we recommend: Start doing tech-free days. When you’re with your partner, they might feel overwhelmed with apps and gadgets around them. During these times, make sure you spend time away from all distractions, and just with them. If your plans with gadgets are inevitable, keep them updated and in the loop on your activities to make them feel included.
Words of Affirmation
For some people, constant praises or spelling out the small details might be a lot, but if you notice that your partner often expresses their appreciation for you by encouraging you, reaffirming you and your needs, and taking the time to tell you how good you look- they might just love a little reciprocation of the same. These kinds of partners also love praises, affirmations, and kind words from time to time.
Exercises we recommend
Try noticing the small things they do, and encouraging them or complimenting them. If they seem stuck, try to encourage and remind them that they’ve got this. Be specific about what you appreciate about them.
Acts of service
This partner loves helping their loved ones out by doing little things for them. From subbing in to do the dishes to short massages, they are the kind of lover who makes sure their loved one feels appreciated through actions. You can try reciprocating your partner’s efforts by doing chores beside them. This is also great bonding, as there is nothing more fun than doing the small things together.
Exercises we recommend: Just about any small gesture works. Leave a small note for them, or give them a coupon to avail a coupon as a special act of kindness. Every little gesture counts- so whether it is walking the dog, or separating their laundry.
This might seem like an extension of acts of service, but some key distinctions set it apart. Small and big gifts hold a lot of value for them and have a lot of significance in their life. Here, it isn’t just the gift that is important to them, but the time and thought behind every gift. This means that the best gifts for them might not cost a penny.
It is important to select the right gift that suits their needs and personality. So this would mean cutting on gifts that might not have value for them.
Exercises we recommend: Try to skip on the chocolates and flowers (unless they’re specifically into them!) and buy more practical gifts. You could also show them you are thinking about them by giving them a handmade gift or craft that makes them chuckle. The gift doesn’t need to be expensive to count.
This person will often pat your back and keep their hand lingering there to feel connected, or might simply love hugs. People often confuse physical touch for sex, but this love language is so much more than that. Encouraging touches and lingering fingertips are flirty ways of paying attention to them, but you can also hug them and cuddle when the time calls for it.
Exercises we recommend
The name for this love language says it all, too. When your partner feels stressed, keep them grounded by gently touching them and patting them. It is also important to ask them what kind of touches they’d be into at the particular moment if that helps you understand them better.
While several studies have been conducted since to add to the list of love languages, the five main seem the most essential. Not only does having a name of a love language help you understand your partner, but it is a good way to stay in touch with yourself, your friends, and more.